Blogger is shocked that women are treated as objects

wait, no. I’m not shocked at all.

If you are naked at all, and a woman, it is only for the purpose of sex and men.

so many commenters on this Even the title of article lets us know that, silly women, don’t you know breasts are for men?

I doubt the women were “shocked” that men wanted watch them. They were making a point. Women cannot safely walk down the streets with the same rights as a man.

on woman say “We should be able to walk down the street and not have this many men taking pictures of us.”

I agree. Commenters of course say, “be realistic.” It is comepletely unrealistic to hope for equality. maybe it is, but I think that is too fatalistic. They are also accused of being “hypocritical biotches” because they are only doing it to get attention! (those slutty slut sluts).

It is not right that women may get naked for men. That his is acceptable and the only way for women to get naked. Why are we not allowed to be naked for ourselves? because it is hot? because we don’t like tan lines? because at that moment my shirt is tugging all weird like and the tag is itching me and I want to take it off?

but that’s right. either we are wrongfully distributing the property of one man, or we are now the property of all men. Yeah. I know, this isn’t shocking either. what’s it called again when men feel complete entitlement to women’s bodies? oh yeah… RAPE CULTURE

headdesk.

party in consent culture

I usually don’t drink because I’m afraid. I mean, I don’t consciously think, “I’m uncomfortable with this situation.” But last night I went to a party where I did feel 100% safe. It is only when I juxtapose this to other parties that I realized something was wrong.

Even around my nudist friends, I would not get drunk and naked. I was at a (clothed) party with the nudist crowed, and Rich started hitting on me as soon as he found out I did a shot of tequila. Um…. yeah…. (I use his name because I do not protect the identities of would-be rapists who think they just need a girl with beer goggles to get laid, and don’t consider that to have consent neither party’s judgment can be impaired)

But last night was amazing. I’d known some of the people for a decade. Others were new to me, but they were all screened by my friends. And they were all open and honest about sex and relationships, and lots of them had slept with at least one of my friends. (so not only personality screened, but personality in bed screened) My friends would not sleep with people who did not communicate with all their partners. They wouldn’t sleep with someone who used sex to control and gain power.

It was consent culture. I got really drunk for the first time in many many months. I was talking to this guy about everything under the sun. but I had no fears drunk and chatting. It was safe. When I mentioned I was feeling a little too drunk I handed him my drink. He brought me some water. I started to feel better so we bee-lined to the hot tub. Because of our influence the hot tub quickly became a nude space.

I was sitting in a hot tub in mixed company, naked and drunk. It was just hanging out. It wasn’t sexual towards me. There was sex at the party, there were lots of people who sleep with each other at the party. No one grabbed my ass even in jest.

But can you imagine the court case if I was assaulted in that context? she was drunk, why would you be naked if you didn’t intend to have sex? she regularly hangs out naked with old men that she has hugged! She has had sex more than once before! And she was at least a decade younger than all the other people at the party at a big house! She must have been LOOKING for a rich man or something!

I was drunk so I went to bed there, as many people did. I was half naked in one of the guest rooms (they have a Gi-normous house). But I have no doubt that if passed out completely naked on a couch or bed that I would have been perfectly safe. imagine doing that at a frat party.

It is so wonderful that that house is a pocket of consent culture in a wasteland.

It is fucked up that personal safety is remarkable. But I’m glad it exists at all.

monkey’s, porn and consent

Yesterday a(nother) liberal dood I know wanted to share how science totally rocks.  his evidence is that a study was done that shows monkey’s like porn and he read about it on the internet. now I don’t know if he read about it at ABC, but I figured if I was going to rant about it, I should look up an article about it.

Then he got really upset that i thought it was horrible. Later he even sent me an email along the lines of, “but I’m a nice guy why do you think I’m a horrible person?” Which makes the issue, not about my reaction to porn, not about rape culture, not about animal captivity, but about poor him and his feelings. Because my feelings hurt his feelings and that is so mean.

This means that I now I have to spend my time letting him know I don’t think he is a horrible person. Well I have to do this if i want to keep the peace. And I do want to keep the peace since I work with him, and we rely on each other to help each other out when studying, and things like that. GRRRR.

But on to the monkeys. First, the article is about how “The study is the first to show that monkeys appraise visual information for its social value and can then use this data to spontaneously discriminate between images of their fellow monkeys.”

but just like with humans the scientists understood “monkeys” to mean MALE BODIED monkeys.

Twelve adult male rhesus macaques (Macaca mulatta) participated in the study

so already there was bias. that female bodied monkey’s don’t count and we don’t need to see how they think since they are the “other sex” anyway.

The monkey’s were given headshots of both males and females, and hindquarters of females to look at. The article does not discuss how the monkeys responded to headshots of the females. but high social ranking males and female hindquarters were “paid for” more often.

Did they pay for headshots of the women too? would they pay for hindquarter shots of the socially high ranking males? how do we know that “sexiness” of the picture had anything to do with it? Maybe social desirability of the subject was important regardless of the position of the monkey in the camera frame. (not to mention that heteronormative assumptions are made about all subjects in the test).  So again, bias about how humans (i.e. heterosexual male humans) view naked pictures comes into how the experiment was organised, and how the data is interpreted:

Camerer says it is “no surprise” that male monkeys “really like looking at female posteriors”. But he is puzzled that males would pay with juice to see high-status males, but would not look at them for very long.

so already we can see this is a problematic study, immersed in patriarchal structure. feminsiting has a post today about science being used to objectify (human) women.

But what about the monkeys? they were “housed in captivity”.  And someone tells me about this study and expects me to be thrilled because no monkey’s were “physically harmed”(quote from self proclaimed nice guy)? Um… vegan here, I’m for autonomy of creatures. that means I’m against captive animals as a slave class for experimentation, regardless of the nature of the experiment.

And onto the issue of consent. This is the biggest issue involved. I don’t know about you, but If I was hanging around and people took pictures of my genitals and butt, and then sold it as porn to someone else, I’d feel angry and violated. But we can do that to monkeys, and its no big deal. More specifically, we can do that to FEMALE BODIED monkeys and it is  SCIENCE.

But you know what? People do this to FEMALE BODIED PEOPLE too. and there is no recourse. If I’m at a nude beach, and someone takes a picture to use as porn, that’s sick right? but shit like this happens, and it is legal, since I’m in a public place. CREEPY. Even if it were illegal, I can’t go to the cops. That could close down the beach, and everyone would “know” its my own fault, and really I wanted it anyway because otherwise I wouldn’t have been naked and teasing men with my nudity.

so this whole taking pornographic pictures without consent issue is both personal and political.

Just more evidence that female bodies are the bodies of the sex class. To be used by men, for sex and porn whenever they want to.  Whether it is male scientists using female monkey bodies to observe monkey objectification, or male monkeys paying to view female bodies as a commodity. Or if it is male humans jerking off in public at a female body who is minding her business and just wants to enjoy the beach. Female bodies are only good for sexual gratification of men and to hell with what women think about it.  Guess what that looks like to me: rape culture.

but you know, getting upset about this hurts the feelings of all those liberal nice guys who really do respect women “both as a group and as individuals”, but who still find this study awesome. /snark.

The life I plan to lead

I like kids.  I would like to have kids someday.  but I’m beginning to think that if my other plans come to pass the lifstyle I will be leading will not be conducive to rearing children or to have successful romantic relationships.

Maybe I’m just being whiny because I think my boyfriend is going to dump me.   But we’ll see.

But what brings it up right now most I think is that I just watched Milk a couple days ago.  He achieved so much, and did such great things for the world.  But (at least in the dramatized movie version of his life) his political activism got in the way of romantic relationships.   There is so much I want to accomplish.  So much I want to be a part of changing.  In terms of mathematics education, civil rights issues and general deconstruction of the patriarchal structure.  Is there time to raise kids if I do that?  Is it selfish to want something that will be such a drain on my time and resources when there are so many who are currently alive who need assistance and resources.  So many causes that need help.

I know most people think it’s ok, it’s not selfish, it’s human nature, or it’s biology.  But Most people don’t acknowledge that women are oppressed, or that gay people deserve equal rights.  So it’s not about what most people think, it’s about how I hope to find peace with my decisions.  And understanding what impact decisions in part of my life have on the other parts.

If I’m PhDing it up and trying to participate in activism at the same time I will have very little time for anything.

I guess I’m already not selfish.  I’ve practically given up my beach for things that are “important.”

but there is always more to do.

Of course you know a rapist.

I was tag surfing and came across Luddite Journo’s Post which was commenting on the comments on a post by Kiwi Politico.

and I mean, COME ON. who are these people who have never met a rapist? if 1 in 6 women are the victims of a a rape or attempted rape in their lifetime and 73% of rapes are committed by a non-stranger, do the math.

I have my suspicions about some people and keep my distance. but how many people walking down the street are rapists? maybe less than 1 in 6. but still. how many people are in a grocery store when you go shopping? how many are men? even if it is 1 in 20 you are around them and they are around you. In your families, in your nightclubs, in your churches, at your weddings.

turning a blind eye, or sticking your fingers in your ears and going “nya nya nya” doesn’t change reality. it only creates a culture that makes excuses, a culture that when faced with it will allow rapists to go free. OMG!! that’s rape culture.

what will you do for a gender free tomorrow?

I’ve always been a huge proponent of gender deconstruction. But I don’t know if that is really the right phrase. People talk about hetero-normative culture, I believe it is only part of a larger problem of gender-normative culture.

What is “straight” but a gendered expectation on who we should want to fuck or raise a family with? The patriarchy thrives on the gender binary system. It sees Masculine and Maleness as good and anything outside that as, well, not good. We can not live freely as womyn if we are living in the confines of “femininity”. But we cannot change what it means to be a “woman” without affect what it means to be a man. If we take away the strict definition of “man” the patriarchy has no legs to stand on.

Men also cannot live freely withing the confines of “Masculinty”. But while womyn have risked their lives, careers and families for the ability to wear a pantsuit, most men do not stand and fight for their right to wear pink frocks. That would be fighting for something that is doesn’t fit into the male= good paradigm. So the few men who do fight for equality in gender relations are cast out and punished (including physical assault) by the dominant system as a warning to those who would question the status quo.

And the Pantsuit is no salvation. It is women taking on a masculine costume to gain the power that masculinity brings. It does not change the “male=good” definition. This is not an unreasonable plan since no true revolution has come yet.

Gender-normativity is so built into our culture that we don’t have the words to adequately describe the world without dividing it into “girl things” and “boy things”. And English isn’t even the worst at it. In most romance languages every noun has a gender. But even though English isn’t the “worst” it is still completely deficient.

We need a singular pronoun that is gender neutral, because “it” isn’t cutting the mustard, and “they” gets really confusing and difficult to decipher for some people who insist it is plural.

Gendered expectations control lives, oppressing our true autonomy. I say no race, no economic conditons, and no government has the right to take my autonomy. (They do. All the time. But I’m talking about my dream of the post patriarchal world here) So why should I let gendered expectation control me? there aren’t always options, (esp for children.) Many Schools in NZ have uniforms that require skirts for girls and shorts or trousers for boys. from day one we are told we either belong in the cult of pink or blue.

I know it seems I am not offering solutions. I don’t think that a world free from gender-normative expectations will happen overnight. So here’s what I’ll do:

1. I will speak out against destructive gender-normative impositions as I see them in everyday life.
2. I will encourage and support those in my community who act outside of gender normative expectations to live the life they choose.
3. I will respect and support those who live in fear of coming out as not wanting to live within gender normative expectations (this includes not outing anyone).
4. I will proudly not fit into rigid gender roles when I don’t feel they define who I am.

Join me. What will you do to support a gender free tomorrow?

I’ve decided my legs are like Stitch:

From Lilo and Stitch:

Capt. Gantu: You’re vile! You’re foul! You’re FLAWED! [smashes hand on Stitch]
Stitch: Also cute and fluffy!

fuck what the world thinks, my legs are cute and fluffy!

TO ALL CA VOTERS

PLEASE:

VOTE NO on PROP 8

VOTE NO on PROP 4

we should never vote to take rights away from anyone.  Besides, you never if next time it will be your rights.

My absentee ballot got lost in a “computer glitch”.  My vote has been taken away from me.  If you are still allowed your voice I ask you raise it in peace, tolerance and freedom.

Just saying

I read Full Frontal Feminism a while ago.   and it was ok.  It was definitely not written for an already feminist audience.  but whatever.  It read a bit like an extended blog post, which is not a complaint, just an observation.  I mean, I read blog posts all the time (I even read jessica’s blog all the time…).

Anyhoooo, I do have a bit of a critique.  Jessica tells young women to never, ever sleep with a guy who is pro-life/ anti choice.  I don’t have the exact quote the book is not currently in front of me and I’m at an internet cafe so, I’m not digging it up.

This irked me.  I think that doing away with the women=sex=vagina thing is fundamental to feminism.  and I just feel that it’s not appropriate to use your sexuality to reward men.  or rather it’s not ok to tell other people to use their bodies to reward men with good politics.  I mean, shouldn’t sex be about what *I* want?

Maybe what I want is to convert people to my political way of thinking, but maybe, just maybe, I want an orgasm. Or to be physically close to someone because I need that every so often in life.  And I personally probably wouldn’t be attracted to or feel safe around anyone who was anti-choice, so I personally probably wouldn’t sleep with them.

The whole idea of it seems just a bit too much like PETA telling us that we should use our bodies as a form of outreach which is something most feminists condemn….

If an individual wants to use sex as outreach, good for them, but don’t think it’s cool to suggest I SHOULD do the same.

CA sometimes sucks so much ass

Don’t get me wrong.  I love San diego.  The weather, the people, the beach.  and the 9th District court has made some great rulings.  but I just saw This Initiative via Feminist law Professors.

If people are truly concerned about minors health and safety.. they would protect their privacy. if people think “My mom will find out if I have a legal abortion” and they really don’t want their parents to find out, they are going to try unsafe options.

Abortions happen. Period. It doesn’t matter if they are legal or not. but if they are legal, then people can get them done safely. I’m not arguing right or wrong. I’m arguing saving a childs life. Because shoving a coat hanger up your vagina in a desperate attempt to hide the truth from your parents is a hell of a way to go.

So please vote in november. Vote against this. protect young women’s rights.