Blogger is shocked that women are treated as objects

wait, no. I’m not shocked at all.

If you are naked at all, and a woman, it is only for the purpose of sex and men.

so many commenters on this Even the title of article lets us know that, silly women, don’t you know breasts are for men?

I doubt the women were “shocked” that men wanted watch them. They were making a point. Women cannot safely walk down the streets with the same rights as a man.

on woman say “We should be able to walk down the street and not have this many men taking pictures of us.”

I agree. Commenters of course say, “be realistic.” It is comepletely unrealistic to hope for equality. maybe it is, but I think that is too fatalistic. They are also accused of being “hypocritical biotches” because they are only doing it to get attention! (those slutty slut sluts).

It is not right that women may get naked for men. That his is acceptable and the only way for women to get naked. Why are we not allowed to be naked for ourselves? because it is hot? because we don’t like tan lines? because at that moment my shirt is tugging all weird like and the tag is itching me and I want to take it off?

but that’s right. either we are wrongfully distributing the property of one man, or we are now the property of all men. Yeah. I know, this isn’t shocking either. what’s it called again when men feel complete entitlement to women’s bodies? oh yeah… RAPE CULTURE

headdesk.

party in consent culture

I usually don’t drink because I’m afraid. I mean, I don’t consciously think, “I’m uncomfortable with this situation.” But last night I went to a party where I did feel 100% safe. It is only when I juxtapose this to other parties that I realized something was wrong.

Even around my nudist friends, I would not get drunk and naked. I was at a (clothed) party with the nudist crowed, and Rich started hitting on me as soon as he found out I did a shot of tequila. Um…. yeah…. (I use his name because I do not protect the identities of would-be rapists who think they just need a girl with beer goggles to get laid, and don’t consider that to have consent neither party’s judgment can be impaired)

But last night was amazing. I’d known some of the people for a decade. Others were new to me, but they were all screened by my friends. And they were all open and honest about sex and relationships, and lots of them had slept with at least one of my friends. (so not only personality screened, but personality in bed screened) My friends would not sleep with people who did not communicate with all their partners. They wouldn’t sleep with someone who used sex to control and gain power.

It was consent culture. I got really drunk for the first time in many many months. I was talking to this guy about everything under the sun. but I had no fears drunk and chatting. It was safe. When I mentioned I was feeling a little too drunk I handed him my drink. He brought me some water. I started to feel better so we bee-lined to the hot tub. Because of our influence the hot tub quickly became a nude space.

I was sitting in a hot tub in mixed company, naked and drunk. It was just hanging out. It wasn’t sexual towards me. There was sex at the party, there were lots of people who sleep with each other at the party. No one grabbed my ass even in jest.

But can you imagine the court case if I was assaulted in that context? she was drunk, why would you be naked if you didn’t intend to have sex? she regularly hangs out naked with old men that she has hugged! She has had sex more than once before! And she was at least a decade younger than all the other people at the party at a big house! She must have been LOOKING for a rich man or something!

I was drunk so I went to bed there, as many people did. I was half naked in one of the guest rooms (they have a Gi-normous house). But I have no doubt that if passed out completely naked on a couch or bed that I would have been perfectly safe. imagine doing that at a frat party.

It is so wonderful that that house is a pocket of consent culture in a wasteland.

It is fucked up that personal safety is remarkable. But I’m glad it exists at all.

monkey’s, porn and consent

Yesterday a(nother) liberal dood I know wanted to share how science totally rocks.  his evidence is that a study was done that shows monkey’s like porn and he read about it on the internet. now I don’t know if he read about it at ABC, but I figured if I was going to rant about it, I should look up an article about it.

Then he got really upset that i thought it was horrible. Later he even sent me an email along the lines of, “but I’m a nice guy why do you think I’m a horrible person?” Which makes the issue, not about my reaction to porn, not about rape culture, not about animal captivity, but about poor him and his feelings. Because my feelings hurt his feelings and that is so mean.

This means that I now I have to spend my time letting him know I don’t think he is a horrible person. Well I have to do this if i want to keep the peace. And I do want to keep the peace since I work with him, and we rely on each other to help each other out when studying, and things like that. GRRRR.

But on to the monkeys. First, the article is about how “The study is the first to show that monkeys appraise visual information for its social value and can then use this data to spontaneously discriminate between images of their fellow monkeys.”

but just like with humans the scientists understood “monkeys” to mean MALE BODIED monkeys.

Twelve adult male rhesus macaques (Macaca mulatta) participated in the study

so already there was bias. that female bodied monkey’s don’t count and we don’t need to see how they think since they are the “other sex” anyway.

The monkey’s were given headshots of both males and females, and hindquarters of females to look at. The article does not discuss how the monkeys responded to headshots of the females. but high social ranking males and female hindquarters were “paid for” more often.

Did they pay for headshots of the women too? would they pay for hindquarter shots of the socially high ranking males? how do we know that “sexiness” of the picture had anything to do with it? Maybe social desirability of the subject was important regardless of the position of the monkey in the camera frame. (not to mention that heteronormative assumptions are made about all subjects in the test).  So again, bias about how humans (i.e. heterosexual male humans) view naked pictures comes into how the experiment was organised, and how the data is interpreted:

Camerer says it is “no surprise” that male monkeys “really like looking at female posteriors”. But he is puzzled that males would pay with juice to see high-status males, but would not look at them for very long.

so already we can see this is a problematic study, immersed in patriarchal structure. feminsiting has a post today about science being used to objectify (human) women.

But what about the monkeys? they were “housed in captivity”.  And someone tells me about this study and expects me to be thrilled because no monkey’s were “physically harmed”(quote from self proclaimed nice guy)? Um… vegan here, I’m for autonomy of creatures. that means I’m against captive animals as a slave class for experimentation, regardless of the nature of the experiment.

And onto the issue of consent. This is the biggest issue involved. I don’t know about you, but If I was hanging around and people took pictures of my genitals and butt, and then sold it as porn to someone else, I’d feel angry and violated. But we can do that to monkeys, and its no big deal. More specifically, we can do that to FEMALE BODIED monkeys and it is  SCIENCE.

But you know what? People do this to FEMALE BODIED PEOPLE too. and there is no recourse. If I’m at a nude beach, and someone takes a picture to use as porn, that’s sick right? but shit like this happens, and it is legal, since I’m in a public place. CREEPY. Even if it were illegal, I can’t go to the cops. That could close down the beach, and everyone would “know” its my own fault, and really I wanted it anyway because otherwise I wouldn’t have been naked and teasing men with my nudity.

so this whole taking pornographic pictures without consent issue is both personal and political.

Just more evidence that female bodies are the bodies of the sex class. To be used by men, for sex and porn whenever they want to.  Whether it is male scientists using female monkey bodies to observe monkey objectification, or male monkeys paying to view female bodies as a commodity. Or if it is male humans jerking off in public at a female body who is minding her business and just wants to enjoy the beach. Female bodies are only good for sexual gratification of men and to hell with what women think about it.  Guess what that looks like to me: rape culture.

but you know, getting upset about this hurts the feelings of all those liberal nice guys who really do respect women “both as a group and as individuals”, but who still find this study awesome. /snark.

because rape and tasers are hilarious.

This was linked to on facebook by a liberal dood friend of mine, and “liked” by a few womyn. The friend part is not sarcastic. Just shows that even people like my friends, who really do care about social justice and equality, don’t quite get what I mean by rape culture. Nor do I think they want to. Takes re-evaluating their lives too much.

Anyway, the end of this video, the obnoxious main character is anally raped with a taser. WTF? This is comedy. Because rape is funny if it happens to men.

But it is even more than that. it is raping someone with a lethal weapon. Normalizing violence. Normalizing police brutality.

And people tell me I’m the man hater? Look around. did you laugh at this video? do you think it is funny when a male prison rape scene is alluded to or depicted in a comedy? who laughs at this? I’m guessing some of the people who think I’m a “man-hating bitch” do. I’m guessing some faux-feminist men, who think that showing men weak is what feminists want to see, will laugh. (I actually had a male “feminist” friend of mine say a guy got what he deserved when a woman didn’t tell him she had and STD when he didn’t want to use a condom. ummmmmm wha…?)

Back when I wrote the post on why media depictions of sexual violence against men is a feminist issue, I did not have the benefit of having read Julia Serano’s Whipping Girl. While I don’t quite agree with every thing she says, I do like how she defines traditional sexism as against femininity instead of against women. This type of sexism can be manifest towards males and females. I think this is a case of that.

why do YOU have sex?

I accidentally came across this article. I skimmed as much as I could so I wasn’t ranting about something I hadn’t read. Now my head hurts. (though it does acknowledge cultural constraints on women’s sexuality)

My biggest problem with the article is that I don’t understand why we need such a study. Or rather, I DO understand why we need such a study and I think ugh.

I know why I have sex. so I’m guessing this article isn’t for me. Who cares why women have sex? oh. MEN. (and maybe lesbians but I’m pretty sure society still thinks that they only exist for men to fantasize about.)

Plus the whole article goes on and on about how women have sex to get back at people, or they are trading favors, or “simply to “keep the peace” at home.” (Um rape culture anyone? 84% of women report this. If saying no was easy and respected this wouldn’t be an issue…)

The article has a tone that implies that this behavior is female in nature. Men’s sex drives are mentioned briefly a couple times, but usually to uphold that men have sex for pleasure or because they are in love, (both in the top 20 reasons men have sex). See it’s those complicated women that make sex complicated!!

Actually, it is not the study itself I cringe at but how the analysis is used. if we looked at how sociologically we are programmed we might find that these results are consistent and indicative of a problem. but the patriarchal lens looking at this study could never make those connections: “More than half of women under 60 still suffer from low sex drive.” Low sex drive in women is a problem for whom? Who is suffering from it really? if I don’t crave chocolate one day am I suffering from lack of interest in chocolate? I mean eating chocolate does bring me pleasure when I do it. so isn’t this the same problem? no. why? because chocolate is just a preference.  And who decides what a “normal” sex drive is?  “Low” is BAD!  why???? If women aren’t interested in having sex whenever a male is, this is seen as problem. Why isn’t that just a preference?

And they only have what people report. People do things all the time without thinking them through, then piece together why. Also there are societal constraints on how we are expected to answer these questions. and women are not supposed to feel pleasure. We are supposed to lie back and think of our country. would that color how people report their reasons for sex? I think so. Its that whole ontological reality thing. we don’t have access to it.

When you have a relationship with someone, no matter how brief, is what 64% of the people do important? no. It is what you and your partner think and communicate. It is how you feel, about how you’re partner feels. Because no specific person will match up with the “general” person on everything, so you must still listen and react and be honest.

Or maybe I’m just being reactionary because this study shows I am in fact a freak of nature because I believe sex should be grounded in consent and pleasure. Plus I think that my body should never have to be used as a bargaining chip because I want to be seen as a whole person, even though I acknowledge that I don’t yet live in that world.

Demetri Martin and Rape Culture

I am sad. Very Sad. I had been looking forward to “Important Things with Demetri Martin” for ages. Last Wednesday my wait was over, and I could bask in the silliness of one of my favorite comics! Or so I thought.

Alas, though it had some funny parts, many jokes weren’t up to his normal level of funny. This alone would not prompt a negative response as I was a huge fan girl and would defend a poor joke in the name of “I-want-your-DNA-for-my-baby-ness.” But check out the tense in that last sentence. “Was.” It really pains me to say this, but I don’t think I can support this new endeavor by my former hero. I remember being upset a couple of times by jokes but the one that sticks out in my mind nearly a week later was about a “time pimp”.

a regular guy finds a time machine and goes throughout history “seducing” womyn to be a time pimp. “Seducing” is in quotes because it is really rape. at least a couple of the circumstances. Rape by circumstance of poverty.

The “regular guy” goes to Ireland during the potato famine with a sack of potatoes. He then approaches a womyn and comments on the famine and shows her his sack of potatoes. She is starving and in need of food and she removes her clothes and we learn he successfully “bangs” her.

This is supposed to be funny? A women is forced into sexual acts through her poverty and no one calls it rape, they call it comedy.

I feel so let down, I feel so betrayed. How could such a clever, kind person be such an ass. When I got to meet Demetri two years ago I was struck by his kindness and patience, speaking to every single fan, trying to sign each individual’s shwag in a unique special way.

I understand we are all products of our culture, but this is someone who had the audacity to drop out of Yale Law School when they had a full scholarship so they could follow their dreams. This is someone who is looks at the world to find juxtapositions and the odd and eccentric in everyday situations. He does this for a living. how could he be so misogynistic?

I just wish I could talk to him about it. In my silly fan-girl-ness I keep hoping there is some sort of explanation. but how do you explain making rape jokes on the premiere of your national TV show?

Sigh…..

I suppose it shows a lot about the culture.  That if someone is starving, and you have food, it is ok to withhold that food until they perform sexual acts.  This is normal, this is rape culture.

Of course you know a rapist.

I was tag surfing and came across Luddite Journo’s Post which was commenting on the comments on a post by Kiwi Politico.

and I mean, COME ON. who are these people who have never met a rapist? if 1 in 6 women are the victims of a a rape or attempted rape in their lifetime and 73% of rapes are committed by a non-stranger, do the math.

I have my suspicions about some people and keep my distance. but how many people walking down the street are rapists? maybe less than 1 in 6. but still. how many people are in a grocery store when you go shopping? how many are men? even if it is 1 in 20 you are around them and they are around you. In your families, in your nightclubs, in your churches, at your weddings.

turning a blind eye, or sticking your fingers in your ears and going “nya nya nya” doesn’t change reality. it only creates a culture that makes excuses, a culture that when faced with it will allow rapists to go free. OMG!! that’s rape culture.

Rape culture and the Fantasy of Vagina Dentata

I’m writing the following for a zine! that makes me so cool. so spell check if you are so inclined:

Rape culture and the Fantasy of Vagina Dentata

headdeask.. well head-breakfast-table.. yes litterally

a few days ago I read an article in the NZ herald.  It was some old white guy talking about how we should expect 14 year olds to gang rape people because of the sexualised nature of current society.   The background is that two 14 year old boys abducted a 14 year old girl and violently dragged her into a house and then raped her.

 “But we know that a lot of 14-year-old girls and younger are having sex, even if only from the abortion statistics for last year, which recorded 104 abortions performed on girls aged between 11 and 14. “

he could mean a few things by this right?

1. because if young girls have sex and abortions they make men rape them.  it’s their fault! 
2. not only do they make men rape them, but they probably deserve it as punishment for having sex and abortions.

“I have argued for years that sex education in schools, particularly that which begins before children even get near the age of puberty, let alone the age of consent, is simply an invitation for them to begin experimenting”

See. those pesky liberals are making young men rape women!  it’s becuase we gave them condoms.  condoms cause rape.  all sexual experimentation causes rape!

“(It always makes me crack up when I read of the nicotine Nazis going crook about smoking in movies or on TV. It’s a funny old world when actors can indulge in uninhibited sex on screen but woe betide any who light up a fag.) “

Ok this is not as on topic… but I really get pissed when people fighting for health and more rights are refered to as “nazis”.  if when someone smoked we then put them in a “work camp” and then had them shower in noxious gas so they died… then call us nazis.  I think it is not only unfounded name-calling it trivialises the exterminiation of an entire group of peoples.    Anyway he just lost the argument by Godwin’s Law.  but back to the bit about how rape is not the rapists fault.

And as for the internet: type “sex” into Google and, in a fleeting 0.6 of a second, the search engine will present you with 851 million relevant pages; type in “porn” and it will bring up 271 million pages.

Thus, considering the power of the primal urges that afflict young men and women, their ignorance of how to handle them and the temptations put in their way, it is unsurprising that things happen such as those which allegedly occurred in West Auckland last weekend.

because rape is a primal urge of men that must be satiated?????  And didn’t you say that giving them information is bad?  because comprehensive sex ed makes them experiment with rape?

I couldn’t possibly have seen evidence of rape culture, because the patriarchy tells me it doesn’t exist

I passed this greeting card in a shop today.

Because rape is funny. right? and when a man rapes his wife it’s ok. She doesn’t have the right to say no, so it’s not really crime. Because women are objects to be used.

I want to rant, but the picture speaks for itself, and I’m so angry I don’t know where to start.

EDIT:

It is apparently not self evident.  Lets describe what I see happening in the picture.  The wife is frowning, sort of in disgust.  She says, “Oh God– He found the viagra.”

This implies that he is now up for it, and she is disgusted by it.  But the undercurrent is that She’s going to have sex with him.  She doesn’t really want to, but it’s expected, so she will.  It’s an annoyance to have sex when you don’t want to.  It’s also called rape.