Why yes that does look like rape culture.

For some reason I’ve been thinking about how “funny” rape is.  Because in movies if it happens to a man it’s high-lar-ious.  This has always bothered me.  If someone is a victim of such violation it should not be made fun of in general.  I really noticed it in “Sorority Boys”  Where one guy drugs his Frat brother who he thinks is a woman (as he’s in disguise) and then rapes him.  But it’s funny because he thinks he’s raping a girl, but in reality he’s doing a guy.

That’s pretty disgusting.  Also at the end of Mallrats The jerky guy goes to jail and is forced to submit.  Doesn’t that tickle your funny bone.  In countless comedies there’s  a prison rape scene that is supposed to be funny.

Now, personally I was already disgusted at the reaction I was “supposed” to have to these scenes.  But recently I’ve been thinking about the implications this humour has in society.  Why people think these scenes are “funny”?

In case you hadn’t figured it out, I’m going to answer that.  Because rape is something that happens to women.  So when it happens to men it feminizes them.  It’s making them “weak” and “girly”. And we all can tap into our inner bullies and laugh at that, right?

This implies that at some level as a culture we accept rape as something that happens to women.  We don’t view it as nice in general, but it is accepted nevertheless.  It also implies that people see women as inferior, weak creatures, with which similarties should be avoided at all cost.  What greater insult is there than to be a “girly” man?

And no, I don’t have answers at the moment.  And yes, that pisses me off even more.  I feel helpless to change this.  After all I’m just a girly weak being according to the dominant paradigm.  I know that things can change because progress has been made in the last 100 years, but damn if I know the next step in this case.  bleagch…


personal experience of the male libido

We all know men are only after 1 thing.  Sex. Sex. Sex.  right?  I’ve posted on the fallacy (heehee… “Phallus-y” ) of this statement before.  But recent events are bringing it to mind once more.

 the last Two guys I’ve made out with have not wanted to go all the way.   Fellow A it was a mutual sort of agreement.  Fellow B was being a damn dirty tease.  Well it’s not his fault.  People go at there own pace, and “their own pace” is even subject to change at different points of their life.  but man, when you are in that moment and don’t get satisfied…it messes with your head. 

 At least he was honest with himself and me.  As far as I know at any rate. 

 I guess I’m anxious because there are deadlines with everyone I’m meeting now.  People are travelling and moving on.  A month is not a long time so I want to make the most of every frickin’ minute.  Everything happens as it does.  once it has happened there is not changing it.  So I can choose to enjoy someone’s company with a big “maybe” hanging around but no promises.  or I can be bitter and push the situation which will make him uncomfortable and distant.  

 yeah the first option sounds better, but it is difficult to do.  Lessons in patience are definitely one’s I need to learn, so it will not be a useless endeavor.  grumble…grumble.