its not just straight men who hate you

I just unsubcribed from reading Box Turtle Bulletin

It has been MONTHS since Carrie Prejean made her comments on the Miss USA stage, or whatever it was.  Can we please get over it?  She’s no longer Miss CA.  So WHO cares?  When she makes more comments we can talk about how those comments are innapropriate, hurtful etc.  I have not problem with that.

But I am SICK of the slut shaming mysogynistc bull shit that is the Glbt movement.  A bunch of men sitting around talking and blogging about what a slut she is.  She has sex tape.  I understand that it is seemingly hypocritical.  And drawing up her logical inconsistancies may be appropriate.  but really, you don’t have to be so fucking mysogynistic when you do it.

Like say with the blog title “Carrie Prejean even sluttier than you thought”.

And then the half hearted apology today really pushed me over the edge.  Apparently Ms Prejean tried to distance herself from the video.  First calling it disgusting and claiming it wasn’t her. so BTB idea of an apology is to use her words to slut shame her instead of their own.

Now I certainly can’t speak for all of our readers, but if this video showed what I think it showed, then I am sure that there are a number of the fellas that would agree with Carrie that, “Ewwww, that’s disgusting.”

Commenters guess that she is on her menses when the video was made. apparently womyn’s bodies are disgusting when they are doing something perfectly natural (and dare I say lubricating). Yeah. slut shaming with a side of self loathing for your bodies natural processes.

I use a diva cup, i get personal with my menses. FUCK YOU. my period is part of who I am. If you hate menstruation you hate women.

I don’t know if that was the authors interpretation. I have to stretch my imagination for sexual things that are “disgusting”. I’m sure there are plenty but not many that I think would be on this video.

I really hate it when people fighting for a cause i believe in use such misogyny. It means I have to spend my time defending people that I would just spend my time disagreeing with.

This is not the first incidence that Box Turtle Bulletin has done this. this is not my first experience with misogyny in the movement. I’m just done. If they legalize lesbian marriage and not Gay male marriage, don’t expect me to help you out. I’m so sick of this.

except I will help. because I believe in standing up against injustice, even if it means coming to the defense of people who have hurt me. I left one last comment there so that they at least can’t claim ignorance of their actions when this happens again.

San Diego Pride

I hate that gay men think that no matter what they say or do that it by definition is not misogynistic simply because they are gay. WTF.

It is NOT ok to grab my breast because you are gay.
It is NOT ok to touch me when I’ve explicitly said don’t touch me in that way. It is NOT funny.
It is NOT ok to make comments to womyn about how porta-potties smell like dirty vags’s.

I’m fucking sick of it. I have been fighting really hard for this community. For YOUR fucking rights. and I’m treated as an object. My voice and concerns are not respected. I find it increasingly difficult to remain an ally to the Glbt community. Cisgendered Gay men are pissing me off as a community. it is no longer a community I feel safe in.

and what is really annoying is I was moving house during dyke fest. so a day I could reach out and become a better ally to the non G part of the community I was moving a fucking mattress.

I don’t know what to do. I have male friends I like, but increasingly its just difficult to meet men who respect me as a human. I’m just so pissed. I need to protect myself first. I want to keep being involved in activism. its an important issue. but I don’t want to work with people who view me as just a woman. Privilege is nontransferable. you don’t understand being a “woman” just because you are gay and have your own oppression.

to quote Jay Smooth

We start acting as though coming closer together means not having to care how our words affect each other. We start assuming we can make any kind of joke or use any kind of epithet without a second thought because now that we’ve made all this progress, everyone’s always going to know that we don’t mean it like that. Right?

Nooooo. That is not how this thing is going to work. That’s not how any relationship works. When people come closer together, the boundaries change, but you never stop having any boundaries, in any healthy relationship. And the whole process of getting closer is based on becoming more aware of those constantly evolving boundaries and better at respecting them. That’s how people get to trust each other and be friends. In any healthy relationship, the closer you get, the more you care about how you affect each other. That’s like a basic rule of life.

He was talking about racial interaction. But it applies to all systems of oppression. You do not get assume what boundaries I have. You should not assume access to my body. you should not assume I will think “jokes” (??wtf??) about smelly vags will be funny or even acceptable.

PROP 8 UPHELD

Discrimination upheld in the California State Constitution.

Meet at 5pm TONIGHT at 6th and Laurel near Balboa Park.

We Will March on the Hall of Justice at 6pm.

We will Rally at The Hall of Justice at 7PM

Hope to see you there.

If you are not from San Diego check out Marriage Equality USA to find an event near you

CA Supreme Court Ruling on Prop 8

The Supreme court is ruling on prop 8. The Decision is coming down on Tuesday May 26.

In San Diegot meet at 5:00 pm at 6th and Laurel on May 26th to unite for equality. For more info and info for other cities please check out:

http://www.marriageequality.org/

With Love,

NT

Peaceful Protest for the Day of Decision

If you are in San Diego, please meet at 6th and Laurel at 5pm on whatever day the supreme court decides the case about prop 8.

we will march either in celebration or in protest.

for more info see the facebook group

not in san diego? Check out http://www.equalitycentral.org/decision-day

Like I said. I know I might be pissed… we can gather angrily but peacefully to raise our voices against hatred and oppression.

Unless of course prop 8 is overturned. then it will be party!!!

Tell everyone you know! We need to “Come out” in force!