this is what I don’t get

some excerpts from a post my friend wrote about a conversation he had:

Pointing to the flowers on my table while I was working and then pointing at my computer he stated, ‘See this and see this? They are different and should be treated different. I wouldn’t water the computer.’ ‘See this,’ he said as he went for a stack of my business cards and began laying each one side by side. ‘They are the same – not the flowers and the computer but the cards.’ ‘We can’t treat them all the same if they are different.’

I stopped working and looked at my friend. I said they are the same and they are different and that when you really get down to it they are all made up of energy and matter… it’s all the same by then. No you would not water my computer or water my cards, but they all have value. Diversity and differences don’t mean that discrimination is necessary. They must all be cared for differently, but not treated with any less respect. The flower has value because it is a flower and we can appreciate that. It is different but not less than a computer. The business cards while each is almost identical will each serve out its own unique purpose that even while I may guide – I cannot control the outcome.

now, I think he tagged me so I would read it. I think he wants me to be more patient with people who say bigoted things. I think I’m as patient as I can be. I am willing to point out to people when they are being bigoted but I don’t have the time or energy to spoon feed them the information. Then pat them on the hand and say “its ok I know its so hard to deal with privilege.. you poor poor thing.”

I need to build my own community so I can feel safe. I want to be able to relax occasionally and not have to worry that on my day off someone is going to make a joke about forcing a penis into some orfice on a woman. (or whatever the hate that day)

but what really gets me. How can someone write the above be the same person who every time we mention food has to tell me how he “needs” his “bloody steak” (or other animal flesh).

they are the same and they are different and that when you really get down to it they are all made up of energy and matter… it’s all the same by then. No you would not water my computer or water my cards, but they all have value.

We are all different, all of us, each of us. None of us WANT to be discriminated against, none of us want to be less than, none of us want to be beaten, abused, harassed, killed, shamed, disrespected… NONE of us… none of us. (I began to tear up and paused for a moment.) We all – ALL of us – want love, and to be loved, and respected and at the very least left alone to live our lives freely.

except for the things it IS ok to kill. it is ok to consume the products of rape and of torture and of murder. because those lives are only there for our consumption. those lives only have value to us for what we can get from them.

The flower has value because it is a flower and we can appreciate that. It is different but not less than a computer.

I have value in the male gaze as an object. I can be beautiful as a flower and be appreciated. but that is not who I am or respect how I want to be treated. as the Dude said in the Big Lebowski “he treats objects like women, man” the comparison just doesn’t work.

yes partly I’m ranting because I’m still mad about everything else. And this note feels like it is supposed to be a lesson to me. I have been patient with the liberal bullshit. but I just can’t take the bigots anymore. because to them, liberal seems to mean, “I pretend I’m joking when I say bigoted things instead of saying them out right, then claim I’m pushing the envelope.”

I don’t want to work for equality with those groups because the I don’t want a world with their type of equality. Where we are all equal but some are more equal than others. I want to build a community that is loving and kind and supportive. I want a community based on personal responsibility. based on love.

I will just build a better life
where we will never feel the need
to chop down any kind of tree
or topple over gifts wrapped up in paper
I would like to see
stockings stuffed with things I can use
tips to prevent domestic abuse
all I want for christmas are the blueprints of community

my different friend’s friend’s band wrote that. fuck yeah.


I’m scared and mad

I think I can now really identify as an anarchist. I mean, I’m supporting the marriage equality movement because I believe if there is law it should apply equally to all people. But I do believe marriage is an oppressive structure, so in a perfect world do away with it all.

but this marriage equality thing is important. it is so sexist to say a man can marry a woman but a woman can’t. It is sexist to say that a woman can marry a man but a man can’t. it’s all just bull.

And it’s looking like Prop 8 won’t be overturned. The case is about what is legal, not what is right. the result won’t really be known for a while, but I’m so afraid. And I’m MAD. If this is rule of law, fuck the law.

Like Michael Franti said:

Fuck the constitution
are we part of the solution
or are we part of the pollution.

People hold up this document as if it were perfect. As if as humans we should mold our lives for it. But how can we say this about a document that allowed slavery? 3/5 rule said black people were 3/5ths of a person for the population count needed to determine how many representatives a state would get in the House.

Yeah…. Fuck. That. Shit.

If the CA state Constitution remains intrinsically sexist. Fuck it. “when injustice becomes law, rebellion becomes duty” Don’t know who said it, but I agree.

when the case is decided. If it upholds taking away rights from citizens, how can there not be riots in the streets? and I’m usually the peacenick of the group.

thoughts on anarchy

well… I’m new to the whole radical politics thing.  so bear with me.

I’ve fallen into a great crowd of people who associate with anarchy as a politcal belief.  not in the “disorder” sense of the word, but with the idea that all forms of government are oppressive and we don’t want an oppresive system sort of way.

I always used to be afraid that if we had anarchy there would be more violence against women and more rape.  but, there already is.  I mentioned this briefly before.  what do I get from the government and what do I give to the government, and is the former enough to justify the latter? 

I don’t know….

but what I’ve been thinking about lately is who my heros are, and that they were all lawbreakers.  And I mean some pretty standard socially acceptable heros.  (even the fictional ones.)

This is because to effect a social change you need to break the law that is in the way.  So what makes their actions ok and not anarchist activists actions? 

And who’s to say what law is ok to break and what law isn’t.  theorhetically the law is there to not be broken.  but so many were/are unjust.  so why have a government that imposes this on us, that then doesn’t do anything (or isn’t able to do anything so they say…) about domestic violence, or rape.  not only do that not help, they actively hurt women’s rights.  Criminilizing having a uterus as they criminilize having brown skin, or being gay.  (though the second of those three they do in terms of economic class oppresion because being open about racism is out of fashion.)

so if we have know way of knowing which laws are ok to break beyond our own concience, how can we condem those who break laws, but who do so in a way that is not hurtful to anyone, and may be helpful for them or another. 

so why what do the laws do that is so great other than make us “feel” protected when we are not.

Some of my hero law breakers (fictional and real) that are not considered radical:

  • Ghandi
  • Margaret Sanger
  • Martin Luther King Junior
  • Zoro
  • Alice Paul
  • Lucy Barns
  • and all other women who were arrested or part of the suffrage movement

I mean, not only did they break the law but the law breaking is exactly what made them heros.

Published in: on September 28, 2008 at 9:39 pm  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , , , ,

In another blog

Paraphrased summary:

ME: I’m almost becoming an anarchist because cops don’t seem to protect women from violence and rape anyway and are just used to enforce rules to help the government not the people.

Would be MRA: but cops are GOOOOD

Me: but domestic abuse it BAD and nothing is done…they are useless

Would be MRA: but women should just leave abusers.  and then if it continues get a restraing order.  Then cops are GOOOD!


Ah yes.. the offtopic victim blaming.  I wanted to talk anarchy and the ineffectiveness of “law” in those cases.  He wanted to talk about how those cases are the women’s fault.



Me: don’t victim blame

Would be MRA: I didn’t!  I never said “I blame the victim”

I finally did what I should have at the beginning.  deleted some of his posts and blocked him.  I just really WANT to believe that people can be reasonable, keep on toppic and not be assholes.  


Published in: on September 18, 2008 at 4:19 am  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , , , , , ,