My parent are not “bad” people. And too some extent even recognize their privilege.  But at other times, they completely miss the boat, and get upset that I all them out on it.

Me: I hear it is a common white tendency to find “authentic” things
Mom: But everyone does that. blacks do it.
Me: (genuinly confused because blacks is the name of a beach due to the iron content of the sand) what? blacks?
Mom: you know they want “real” home cooking, real grits …
Me: oh you mean black people, not blacks.
Mom: what’s the difference
Me: well people like to be recognized as people, not as descriptors.
Mom: you know that changes every couple of years.
Me: well that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be respectful of what people want to be called
Mom: You know who I’m talking about, THOSE PEOPLE.  They like authenticity.


I gave up. I didn’t even make it to the sentence about how finding the authenticity of your own culture is different than being a tourist in someone else’s culture.

Published in: on July 6, 2010 at 3:21 pm  Comments (2)  
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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. You did the exact same thing and didn’t even realize it.

    “Me: I hear it is a common white tendency to find “authentic” things””

    White what? Rice? Bread? Your mother’s speech pattern could have been influenced by your own.

    • fair enough. but that doesn’t mean that you KEEP DOING IT when it is pointed out. or refer to anyone as “THOSE PEOPLE”

      you don’t explicitly say it, but the tone of your comment implies that it is ok to refer to individuals as an adjective, because I accidentally did it. I fuck up all the time. So I still stand by my annoyance.

      I actually was confused, because my favorite place in the world is referred to as “blacks” nickname of “blacks beach” nickname of “Torrey pines state park beach”. I genuinely did need clarification.

      I think my mom can hold her own in a conversation. She is not feeble minded. when I pointed out an issue, she could have pointed out my error if she saw fit. Instead, she responded with apathy. She didn’t actually care at all how people wanted to be addressed. Or how problematic it is to reduce people, especially those who are already oppressed, to an adjective. She got upset that I didn’t understand her when there was confusion.

      this is the real issue. what do you think of this issue? since this is the subject of the post.

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