I don’t hate “blank” people but….

I don’t know how to react to people who make the above statement sometimes. Especially if they are not people who are easy to avoid. Especially if they are people who have loved my my whole life and taken care of me, and who I love and who I have fun with, or have things in common with.

My mom, who is liberal and supports me in my work for marriage equality, said something the other day that I don’t know how to deal with.

She warned me recently, and not for the first time, not to date bisexual men because they are promiscuous and could give me AIDS.


because men who sleep with men, do it all the time and do it without protection. I hang around the queer community. It is a place where I can be myself and accepted as a nudist, as a feminist, as a vegan. This community has been a safe space for me too. so I have know quite a few people who don’t identify as straight. both male and female, either born or chosen. Let me tell you… views towards sex vary. It depends a lot on the individual. Safe sex is important to most of the people I hang out with because that is a value I have and I like to hang out with people who have similar values. so even the people who have sex all the time that i know are being safe about it.

This came up when I showed her a picture of a guy I thought was cute, and she thought he was gay. I said well he identifies as bi, so I’ve got a chance… The first comment was actually “that usually means he’s gay in the long run..”

I gave her a blank look.

then she gave me her warning.

I used to talk to my mom about cute guys all the time. We have a history of checking out guys while people watching at restaurants and such. so that I would share with her when I like a guy is not something new.. but it may be something I keep to myself in the future.

We should respect peoples choices and how they choose to identify. that doesn’t seem like a difficult idea to grasp. we should also hold our judgments off until we actually meet people. and not base our judgements on things as superficial as sexual identity. (or race, ethnicity, gender, gender identity, the cloths they wear, country of origin etc… etc…)

I know we are all products of our culture, and that it is hard to escape the ramifications of that.. but it’s difficult when its some one so close to you.

Published in: on April 6, 2009 at 10:31 am  Leave a Comment  
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