hope for tomorrow

I had a suprising and wonderful conversation in passing last night.  I was at a video rental place talking to my friend who works there ( ok I concede, sometimes life is like clerks… but in a much less annoying way.)  I was gossiping to my friend about my date on sunday night and how it ended in a “wait, what? huh?”  sort of way. 

and this customer joins in our conversation.  a bloke with a motercycle helmet.  he also had gone to the movies on a date the previous night, and he mentioned he was feeling morally conflicted about having kissed the girl because she was leaving the country in 8 weeks and he wasn’t sure that he wanted to have a relationship when as he felt he would be hurt when she left.  he was also afraid something might not go well and he would ruin the rest of her time in NZ. 

Yet again we see that gender stereotypes about how people should act are totally bogus.  he was a MAN! (GASP!) he should only want sex, but he has emotional needs and vulnerabilites and was concerned for the girl’s emotional needs and vulnerabilites. 

also there are posters everywhere promoting wearing white ribbons to stand in solidarity against violence against women.  the posters feature men wearing the ribons and are aimed at men to take a stand against violence against women.  exactly the type of thing that Dworkin suggested in I want a 24 hour truce.

I feel awesome!

speaking of my date I helped participate in the yes means yes and no means no culture and instead of attacking my date with my lips asked him EXPLICITLY, “can I kiss you?”. that’s when things got a bit “huh, whut?” but we’ll see. I’m so glad i asked. I don’t like people to physically impose themselves on me and don’t want anyone to feel I do that to the. It works well and doesn’t kill the mood, (especially if it’s an awkward date moment to begin with) So I suggest to all men and women and people who do not identify as either man or woman, ask!


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