I feel Greedy – in a seemingly un-feminist way

I am a very loved person.

I have lots of friends who look after me and help me and love me.  So much so it feels me with lots of joy.

BUT…

I want more.  I want sex.

I have one friend who I of course have great feelings for.  and Everytime he hugs me I can feel the love emenating from him.  He’s like that.  Full of love which he gives to all his friends.

his touch is comforting and exciting, but it is just a friend… sigh.   He gives great hugs, great massages.  But I think it will lead no where, which is what it is, right?

Being content should be easier.  The key to having everything you want is to not want.  but I’m not very good at that.

Anyway, Saturday morning he woke me up with a hug, and that night in the cabin at the top of the Pinnacle he jumped over and gave me a lovely hug goodnight (as he does to people in general).  on the track down he took care of me when I had blood sugar level issues and put his hand o my back,  and brought me food.  (and wasn’t grossed out when i mentioned “ahhh I got my period at the top of the pinnacles and now I have to walk down with cramps.”)  A lovely hug last night before I climbed the stairs and one goodbye this morning.    what a weekend.  It was amazing fun.  amazing views, and lovely people.  and he is just so lovely.

but yes… the friendship is wonderful.  I should be content with what I have, but that, as most things, is easier said than done.

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Published in: on October 12, 2008 at 9:51 pm  Comments (2)  
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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. take it one day at a time sugah. You can get some elsewhere if you want. Or you can go after this friend of yours and tell him how you feel. You may be surprised.

    WilliamCA

  2. I think if something was going to happen it would have by now. I’ve known him since march….

    as for getting some elsewhere, I’m a very sexual person when I like a specific person, but the idea of people I don’t know very well is about as interesting as masturbation (which I can do on my own). I mean, they could be awful in bed… I don’t want to deal with that… and meat eaters taste icky (no offense meant, just preference) so I need to find a vegetarian random hook up? too much effort.


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