Sexually Powerful?

Ok.   So yesterday I caught my inner monologue being distressing.  I was feeling “sexually Powerfull.”   Given the amount of self analysis I’ve done, I think I can break it down. 

I mean, It’s not like I’m dating or fucking anyone at the moment.  It’s just a feeling. 

I think it is a combination of two other feelings.  I Think I’m a bit manic at the moment.  I mean this in a clinical sense.  I’m bipolar.  So yeah.  When I get manic I feel a bit invincible.  Like everything is wonderful and the world will yield to my will.  I try to realise when I feel this way (or if I feel depressed) from a chemical standpoint.  Sometimes I just feel good, but this different.  I feel all powerful, I’ve even had moments where i thought I was on a divine path.  but then I realised, no, just a bit manic. 

I’m also horny as frick.  so I’m interepreting these powerful feelings sexually.  but yeah. 

It’s interesting how i can intellectually realise that sexiness is not really empowerful, but can still have emotions relating to sexiness FEEL empowerful. 

go figure.  stupid hormones. 

just another example how you can’t escape the culture you are in.   bah.

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Published in: on October 1, 2008 at 9:47 pm  Leave a Comment  

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