College boys can’t “keep up”

I followed a link from Feministing to this article. 

In response to some guys who may have genuine “problems” 

We need to (say it with me) deconstruct gender stereotypes. Not all women are like those described in the article, likewise not all men thrive on casual sexual encounters.

However men are expected to thrive in such an environment, so they have a hard time saying no, or admiting that they are not up to it.  Now when a woman is pressured into having sex, you can just use extra lube if her body is not responding.  they can be pressured into sex even when their body is saying no.  Men don’t have that option.

The big issue is respect.  It is a human thing.  We should respect eachother and if we do not find someone who’s boundries we are comfortable with, move on. 

 No one should be put into a situation where they feel they must do something sexual.  It should be a giving and pleasurable experience for both people.  (or “all people” if you are into that sort of thing.)

The problem is not that women are become more assertive sexual beings, it’s that men are not allowed to not be assertive sexual beings.  If a woman’s sex drive diminishes for a year or two that’s “normal female behavior” so why should anyone get so uptight about it happening to a guy?

 My issues with the rest of them. 

These guys with problems are complaining that women all want sex on the first date.  Well I’ve only recently emerged from academia and there are lots of women who like to wait.  (in college I was definitely one of them) Where are they meeting these people?  Maybe they need to find different types of people instead of just chasing a skirt that their body is telling them they don’t really want. 

 In terms of Conquest.  Ew.  I do believe there are some guys who get off on it.  if that’s what they are getting off on, and it’s lack of conquest causing their impotence, good riddance.  Who wants that anyway?  I’m supposed to feel sorry for a guy because he can no longer assert his power over me physically since i actually want to have sex?  that’s gross.  Impotence is not the problem in this situation.  

If a guy get’s off because he is able to pleasure his partner.  that’s cool, but because he tricked her into sex at all?  give me a break.  I concede pressure is different than force, but for someone to want to have to pressure me?  that seems dangerously close to them wanting to force me. 

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Exactly! I’d bet it’s the thrill of the chase thats missing. And I agree it can be exciting when the other is playing along, some prefer to chase women who are socially trained not to want sex. Good riddence.

  2. I haven’t read the whole thing, but the gist of it is very penis-centric. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I just can’t get hard! WAH!” It’s such a narrow focus — I mean, come on! You’ve still got fingers and tongues, haven’t you? And there’s toys and such besides. You can, in fact, have a complete sexual encounter without once resorting to PIV, and it can be just as satisfying.

    I guess it must seem scary to some guys that their penises are not, in fact, the alpha and omega of sexual encounters, but come on, get with the times. /grumble


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